Marion County Florida Food Fight Results in Pizza Assault Arrest.
Hold onto your pizza slices, we’ve got a bizarre tale from the Sunshine State. A man in Marion County Florida has been arrested for committing the ultimate pizza party foul – assaulting a woman with a slice of pizza.
According to Fox News, the suspect, Ortelio Lazaro Alfonso, became enraged when the victim disciplined someone else in the home, and in a fit of fury, decided to launch a slice of pizza at her face. And we’re not talking a gentle toss – this was a full-on slap!
The victim was left with pizza all over her shirt, in her hair, and even around her ear. But it didn’t stop there. When deputies arrived at the scene, they found a very saucy scene. Pizza sauce splattered all over the walls and ceiling of the kitchen. The entire place was a veritable pizzeria crime scene.
Alfonso was quick to defend his actions, claiming he didn’t physically strike the victim with his hands, just with the pizza. Because apparently, flinging a piece of pizza at someone’s face is totally acceptable behavior in his book.
We can only imagine the scene that played out in that Florida home. Was it a classic Chicago deep-dish that was used as a weapon? Or was it a greasy New York-style slice that left sauce everywhere? The details may never be fully known, but one thing is for sure – this is one food fight that didn’t end with laughs and high fives.
Alfonso was arrested on a battery charge and booked into the Marion County Jail. But let’s be real – this guy should probably be banned from pizza for life. We can’t have people going around flinging slices like they’re ninja stars. It’s just not okay.